"I'm broke and need $1,000 today, how do I do sex work?"

Lets chat a little about asking sex workers how to do sex work when you aren't in the industry.

Before you ever do, and before I get into the nuance of it:
1. Google the kind of sex work you want to do. Find subreddits, FB groups, websites, Twitter accounts, etc. Literally spend a week doing this.
2. Look at sex workers who are DOING THE SAME KIND OF SEX WORK you want to try. What is their online presence? How do they advertise? Do you see others with a similar look to you? Do they offer consulting? (If so, there you go. Pay them for consulting if they seem legit.)
3. Come up with a list of questions you have for a sex worker in the same line of work who might be able to help you.
5. Go look at my links on FOSTA. Now is not a good time to enter the industry. At all.

Okay, lets talk nuance.
Sex workers work their asses off behind the scenes.
We are CONSTANTLY working. Branding, grooming, advertising, building a client base, working on social media and internet presence, replying to messages, etc. We also have lives outside sex work, and are constantly struggling to find balance. This means our lives are incredibly busy. We in no way just sit around and wait for money.
Our time is incredibly valuable to us. It should be to everyone, honestly.
So when someone who has never done sex work wants a FREE rundown of the entire industry, we often don't have time, energy, or interest.
Most often, these civilians haven't don't the most basic of research on their own, and don't know anything about sex work, so we get messages like (directly quoted from IG):

"Hey I know you don't cam, but I really don't want to touch anyone and I'm late on rent. I really need to make 1-2 thousand in the next few days. Can you show me what to do? I just need to get started today and learn the ropes."

There's a lot to unpack here, so let's start at the top.

- You know I don't do this form of SW, but you assume I must know everything about it because sex workers are a monolith to you. Also, you didn't even bother to find a cam model to ask?

- Saying you don't want to touch anyone is fine, but saying it to a sex worker who DOES touch people is unbelievably rude. There's a perceived hierarchy in sex work, with those of us who touch people at the very bottom. This comment implies that you don't want to be in the bottom, so you are already engaging in a super stigmatizing set of ideas about sex workers that are harmful. Also, if you don't want to touch anyone ever, you will have to show your naked body doing sexual things to make money. I have a feeling that you think both are gross and you should go wait tables.

- You aren't going to make a grand today. Some sex workers never make a grand in a day. Those who do have worked very hard to perfect their craft and become that kind of earner. Also, all sex work takes some prep time. Going to a club? Gotta get stripper clothes, get comfy in them 6-10" shoes, find out when the club is auditioning, probably get rejected a few times, etc. Camming? You have to find the right site, set up an account, verify your identity, find a brand, set up your page, build followers, etc. Full service is a little less, but it still can take weeks to months to get really going. IT'S A JOB, NOT AN INSTANT MONEY TREE.

- I can't show you what to do in a part of the industry I don't work in. Even if I do work that particular job, it took be a decade and a half to get where I am and I can't teach you everything I have learned in a set of IG messages. I also don't know you, and my time and energy are devoted to helping those already in the industry. Many of us feel this way. I personally don't even offer this kind of coaching for civilians, but many sex workers charge for it. This is fair. You aren't in the industry so you need SO MUCH info. You should pay sex workers for that kind of labor.

- Again, you probably aren't starting today and to assume that this job has zero entry barrier, will automatically get you money on your terms, and will be teachable in a few paragraphs, you obviously undervalue our labor and it's gross.

- Finally, many of these jobs are illegal or on the edge of legality, so you're asking us to risk arrest for you for free. You could be a cop. You're just a stranger on the internet.

There's a real issue here (and everywhere, really) of the perceived value and legitimacy of sex workers' labor. Would anyone go to a construction worker's social media and ask the same thing? Would they wait for a barista to get off work at the coffee shop to ask? Would they ask literally anyone in any other profession the question I posted? No. So at the end of the day, that's the real problem. These questions come from a lack of respect or understanding of sex workers, and are tone deaf and incredibly rude.

Don't be that person.


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